Relationship Advice to Live By
1. When your partner opens up to you: listen and try not to think about your response. Sometimes people just want to be heard. When they are finished, tell them what you heard, so they feel seen. Communicating is not just about talking but listening and understanding too. Ask “why” they feel this way, so you can understand more about where they are coming from - it will help you in future circumstances when it is a different situation, but similar feelings arise.
2. When you feel hurt or upset, think about why you feel this way and think about if your partner is in the wrong or if you are projecting an insecurity onto them.
3. When your partner tells you they are hurt: be open to hearing what happened, even if you do not think you came across that way or it was not intentional, they still feel hurt, and we cannot control the way we feel - so do not fight it - reassure and support them.
4. Do not say “nothing is wrong” when something is - keeping emotions inwards will only hurt the relationship. It adds unneeded weight and keeps your partner worried, confused, and at a distance. The point is to get closer, not further away.
5. Learn each other's love language: ask your partner “when do you feel most loved?” It is important to understand what makes someone feel good so you can do more of it or learn how to do so.
6. Celebrate each other every day: show them how much you care, tell them they are beautiful, let them know you are thinking about them, bring them gifts, buy them flowers, write cute notes, send morning and goodnight texts - small things make big differences. The more romantic you are, the more intimate the relationship becomes.
7. Talk about boundaries - learn what your partner feels comfortable and uncomfortable with at the beginning and not before it is too late. You should always want to make your partner feel happy, safe, and comfortable (if it is in a healthy way) - it should not be forced, but if you are not willing to or do not want to, then that is something you need to explore. The key is flexibility in relationships - you are sharing a life with someone and you have to consider that. There is a give and take, and sometimes things have to change, that does not mean they are trying to control you. Finding someone you want to be with is a rare and magical thing - be willing to adapt for them.
8. Most importantly always be kind, if you are mad at something else, do not take it out on them - let the relationship be a warm and safe place in this chaotic world.